7 Secrets of Sales Psychology Using NLP [EP 42]

I'm Liz!

I value empowering entrepreneurs to live their life full of joy and purpose. I LOVE - helping women worldwide dial-in their marketing funnels and see mind-blowing results.

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Know that this episode isn’t meant to teach you slimy sales techniques or ways to manipulate your buyer or trick someone into buying something that isn’t right for them. We aren’t about that. 

Welcome to the Marketing To Millions Podcast, I’m your host, Liz Boer! In this episode, I’ll share with you the power of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and how we can use this in sales to attract new leads. These psychological techniques help us approach customers more effectively through deeper understanding and thus, recognizing the ways we can serve them better. If you’re interested in learning more about this method, check out the free sales scripts here with this episode!

I know Selling can feel scary, nerve-wracking and uncomfortable. Here’s the secret for being able to do it in a way that’s effective and feels good to you: using psychological techniques. That’s the power of NLP. Many successful sales experts use NLP concepts to refine their skills and create a positive selling experience. The best part is that you don’t need a psychology degree to do the same. Let me reveal to you 7 NLP sales secrets. And then I’ have some easy plug-and-play sales scripts that you can download, towards the end I will tell you where to get those. 

[00:01 – 04:31] Psychology in Selling – The Power of NLP

  • Many successful sales experts utilize the power of NLP
    • It targets a positive selling experience
    • It doesn’t require a fancy degree
  • I will share with you some plug and play sales scripts that you can download!
  • Our thoughts and language make a huge difference
    • Communicate better to serve at a higher level

Let’s start by defining what NLP is. 

NLP was developed before I was born, in the 1970s to be exact by two men, Richard Bandler and John Grinder.  initially, they developed NLP as a psychotherapy approach but it has since gone on to be applied in various different ways including sales. 

NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. So it deals with our thoughts (neuro), the language we use to communicate (linguistic) and the behavioral patterns that are produced (programming).

What this means for sales is that the behavior and language we use matters! I am going to give you 7 reasons why in just a few minutes. Our behaviors the words that we use and how we say them make a great deal of difference. Think about it, If I walk into a room with a big ol’ smile on my face, head held high, and say Hi there, I’m Liz you might feel like you just met I’m a warm, friendly, and interesting person. Vs If I look at you with a scowl and barely hold my hand out to say Hi there, I’m Liz. The words were the same, how I delivered them created a very different kind of energy and feeling for you, the receiver. 

Now, I’m not telling you to change who you are but I am saying Together, we are going to go into how we can develop better ways of communicating so that we can serve our audience at a higher level.

If our audience can’t understand our value, they won’t be able to be impacted by it. 

This is the secret sauce when you hear people say “use words your customers use” or “say what they say” what they really meant to say is when you understand your customer on a deeper level you can understand what makes them take action. This is what transforms your sales process. 

Let’s explore how we do that.

[04:32 – 16:20] Make the Customer Feel Heard

Secret #1 How to leverage client’s psychology while selling

A good salesperson personalizes their approach for each lead. So you can start by understanding your client and adapting your behavior for them.

Here’s what to try: 

Start by active listening. That might seem obvious – of course you listen to your clients. But you might be surprised how often we don’t fully listen to the people we’re talking to. Instead, we’re worried about what we’re going to say next. 

Have you ever introduced yourself to a new neighbor only to walk away trying to remember what they said their name was? It’s okay, I’ve been there too. Subconsciously our brains anticipate the question the other person is going to ask “what’s your name?” and your brain prepares you to answer. Instead of committing their name to memory your brain subconsciously prepares you to respond with your own name. 

When we aren’t fully listening, we are missing out on vital information that could be the difference between closing a client and losing a client. 

So active listening means you are really paying attention to everything the client is communicating to you. What are they saying? What language are they using? What does their body language reveal? You can tell a lot through body language. In fact, it makes up 80% of communication. Remember the example I shared with you earlier – my body language was the determining factor being feeling positive energy and negative energy. 

When you pick up on how they are feeling and these smaller details, you can adapt your pitch to make it appeal to them specifically. For example, the pain point they are particularly struggling with instead of just assuming what they need help with. 

Active listening also helps to build rapport. Paying attention shows you actually care about the lead, not just making the sale, and that makes them feel good. Indicate that you are listening by nodding, making eye contact, asking open-ended follow-up questions, and paraphrasing what they’ve told you all helps you build rapport by proving that you were paying attention.

You can’t leverage your client’s psychology unless you understand their experience and what they need to hear from you to feel comfortable buying from you. So pay attention with active listening.  

Secret #2 How to develop instant rapport with leads

The first hurdle you have to overcome is one that will have a big impact on the rest of your conversation. You need to build rapport with leads. When you first start a sales conversation, it can feel a bit awkward and stuffy. If the conversation continues that way, you aren’t going to build that connection that will make them feel comfortable buying from you. Instead, you want them to feel at ease, relaxed, and ready to open up. Building rapport is essential but it can feel challenging if this is a lead that you are connecting with for the first time. 

NLP has some easy techniques you can use to build rapport in pretty much any situation. Even when selling in your DMs on IG stories, or a sales call. 

One way to do that: 

Mirroring is when you copy the body language of the person you are talking to. Consider things like gestures are they talking with their hands? How fast are they talking? What facial expressions do they make when speaking and listening. I smile while I talk, do they begin to smile too?  Now be careful because this can be taken too far very easily. Don’t make it weird. Use discretion and common senses. Subtle mirroring is effective because We connect with people who are like us, research proves this. Try it out in your sales conversation by starting your sentence using the same words your potential customer just used. Someone tells you they want more sales, you start by saying “I love that you want more sales” or “wouldn’t more sales be amazing, imagine what it would feel like to have that many customers.” This helps break the invisible walls people put up down and opens their minds to the possibilities of what could be done by working with you. 

It’s really important to pay attention to non-verbal communication. Not just to be able to mirror it but to be able to interpret it. When you understand how someone is feeling, you can speak to them and impact them more than assuming they’ll verbally tell you everything. 

Keep in mind mirroring is not always needed. Try it with friends and family first until you are comfortable. 

When leads feel able to open up to you, they’ll give you the chance to work through any barriers with you, instead of just walking away from the sale without sharing their concerns with you. I remember one time I was on a sales call with a new lead and she shared with me how she had worked with a team before and not been happy with her sales page copy she wanted to know what my process was like and if I had ever that happen. I responded by telling her about our in-depth research and discovery period that we use to craft high-converting sales pages that not only speak to our client’s ideal customer but also mirror the tone, message, and personality of the client. This is how we guarantee satisfaction and why our sales pages convert so well. I also went on to tell her about our edit and revision process so she felt her desire to know that in the slight case the copywriting wasn’t what she expected that she knew we would make it right. I responded to her concerns by reiterating our process and reminding her of our track record of success. This way she felt heard and understood. 

Secret #3 How to derive sales without hard selling 

Selling can be (and should be) a more natural experience than begging people to buy from you. In fact, active listening will give you all the information you need to close the deal without hard selling. 

Listen to the language they use to find out if their preferred communication style is visual, auditory, or kinesthetic. There are clues to this in the language they use. Do they use language focused on seeing, imagery, and visual aspects? Or does their language focus on hearing and sounds? Kinesthetic is all about touch and feeling and their language will reflect that. 

Once you know their preferred communication style,. Closing the deal is all about proving to the client that their needs will be met by your offer. For visual communicators, you can use phrases like ‘Do you see how things would be much easier with my help?’ Then for auditory, phrases like ‘Do you hear what I’m saying?’ Finally for kinesthetic communicators, ‘How would it feel to no longer worry about that?’

You can also use their preferred communication style to sell the benefits of your offer. Say you are selling a course, there’s something for everyone. Tell the visual communicators about the video training you offer. Share with the kinesthetic communicators the worksheets they can fill out. Do you have an audio-only version for the auditory communicators? Speak to what your lead needs. This is also why all three of these communication styles must play a role in your sales process, people consume content differently, so we can’t assume one form of communication. 

This subtle change in language will help them to connect with the outcomes you are promising and believe that you can help them achieve their goals. As long as you keep making the conversation about them and how their life will be better with your offer while using the language they use, you don’t have to be pushy because the benefits are being clearly communicated in the style they prefer. 

This style is like the Turkey at your Thanksgiving table. Do you prefer white or dark meat? When I used to eat meat I was a dark meat person.  It’s all the same turkey but each with a different flavor. Making it loved my meat eaters everywhere. 

[16:21 – 27:56] Discovering Opportunities through Mindset Shift

Secret #4 How to shift a negative downturn

There are so many reasons as to why you might get a negative response to your pitch and many of those reasons have nothing to do with you. As humans, we are quite resistant to change so the lead might just be scared of taking the leap and going for their goals. 

Just because you feel like there has been a negative downturn in the conversation, doesn’t mean all is lost. You have the ability to change the nature of the conversation. 

Here’s how: 

First, don’t abruptly contradict what the lead is saying. You might not agree with it but if you make them feel like they are in the wrong, you’ll lose out on the rapport you have built with them. Instead, validate their concerns and show you understand. You want them to feel safe and comfortable with you. 

Then you can use power words to change their response. These are words that may seem insignificant but they do make a big impact. They are like subconscious triggers that elicit a certain response, in this case, a positive one. 

One of my favorite power words is: 

‘Imagine’ is a great power word to use. Imagining something is so much easier than actually doing it right? We aren’t as resistant to it, questioning ‘how…’ and ‘what if…’ So if you ask clients to imagine something, like what their life will be like with your offer, that’ll be pretty easy for them to do. That in turn helps us in the real world. Once we’ve imagined something, we find it much easier to actually do it. So once your client has imagined what life will be like with your offer, they’ll feel more able to follow through with it. 

There are loads of other powerful words out there. You can spot them through the connotations they have, the intention behind them, and how they make us feel. You can really make your client feel empowered to work with you if you use the right wording. 

What more ideas on how to do this? Check out the free downloadable Sales Scripts Using NLP Techniques  I created to go along with this episode. 

You can reframe what they see as a problem and turn it into an opportunity. Reframing is a really big part of NLP. It is when we challenge our negative thoughts like the limiting beliefs we have and boundaries we put on ourselves that stand in our way. If you can give your client a new perspective and overcome any negative thoughts they might be experiencing, they’ll break through the barrier preventing them from buying.

Secret #5 How to turn a ‘No’ into an ‘Opportunity’

If you’re a business owner, you’re going to have sales conversations, which also means there will be times that you hear the word ‘no’. Isn’t it funny how many times we probably heard the word ‘no’ as a child and it never phased us but we hear no thank you to our offer it feels like the world is caving in.  It seems like the worst outcome possible. The only other contender is getting ghosted by your email list after spending hours writing a sales email sequence. We don’t want to be rejected like that. However, getting a ‘no’ isn’t always as simple as it sounds. 

First, you need to reframe your mindset around hearing ‘no’. If you panic or shut down the conversation after hearing it, you’re leaving money on the table because there’s still potential in the conversation. This is especially true if you haven’t got a reply yet. There are so many possible reasons why they haven’t responded to your email or followed your call to action yet. 

Often ‘no’ is our defensive response to something deeper. So your client isn’t saying you did something wrong or you’re not good enough or any of the limiting beliefs you might be experiencing. There’s something standing in their way preventing them from saying ‘yes’.

You need to validate their concerns. Keep them feeling safe and understood. Then you need to work out the why. Is it because your offer genuinely isn’t right for them? That’s a possibility and finding out more information is good market research for you. Is it because they need help working through a problem themselves before they are able to say ‘yes’? If so, discover and discuss that problem with them. Reframe it so it is no longer a barrier for them saying ‘yes’. Is it ‘no’ for now but possibly ‘yes’ later on? That’s great! Maintain your relationship with that person because the ‘yes’ is coming. 

In your sales email sequence, write about common objections you hear. Walk them through a problem they are having without even having to tell you and your subscribers will feel like you really understand them. Keep them on your email list even if they don’t sign upthe first time you open enrollment. You don’t know what the future holds so don’t be the one to shut down the communication. 

Remember ‘no’ is a stepping stone. It’s not the end of the conversation. 

Secret #6 Influence and Ethical Persuasion Tricks 

NLP provides us with various non-manipulative persuasion techniques that you can use while selling. These techniques help you to build a connection and then close the deal. 

One of these techniques is called pacing and leading. This shows us what to do once rapport has been built. We don’t buy from everyone we like. An extra step needs to be taken to secure the conversion. 

So we start with pacing. This is when we mirror the potential client’s body language, tone of voice, rhythm of speaking, etc. to show that we are like them. You can also do this if you are messaging or emailing a lead. Use phrases they tend to use, include images and GIFs that appeal to their sense of humor, and add in emojis to make emotions clear and drive the point home.  

Psychology Today explains that studies have shown that the factor of thinking someone is similar to us has the biggest effect on whether we will like them or not. Once this has been established, you take the lead. You change the direction of the conversation and the body language so they start naturally mirroring you. After establishing similarity, they will take your lead. 

In the conversation, this will follow the path of explaining their situation and how you understand what they are going through. Then you gently guide the conversation to introduce the outcome you provide and how it is an improvement on their current situation. This helps them want to make that change. 

For example, if you are talking to a lead who insists they can’t do public speaking, you can reinforce the belief that they can do it. Then they’ll be so excited to work with you on your public speaking coaching course because you have offered them a positive outcome. 

Figure out what your lead wants and show you deliver that by communicating with them in a way that resonates with them. 

Secret #7 Sales Champion Mindset for Maximizing Sales Outcomes

Business isn’t just about practical strategies. A lot of success comes from your mindset as I said when talking about turning ‘no’ into an ‘opportunity’. We can use NLP techniques to develop a champion mindset that will get the sales flooding in. 

Relaxation techniques can make more of a difference than you’d expect. It’s really hard to perform your best when you’re stressed – you’re in too much of a panic to think straight. It’ll also come across in your body language and demeanor making it harder for people to connect with you. You can help yourself to relax before sales calls by using simple strategies like breathing techniques. Slow, deep breaths keep you calm and get you focused. 

If you like, you can try something more advanced. Anchoring is really effective at preventing the escalation of bad feelings. You’ll need to do some prep beforehand. Decide on a visual that you find relaxing. It should be something that when you imagine it, you feel good. Then decide on a trigger. This is simply a distinctive physical movement like tapping your thumb and forefinger together or patting your chest with your hand. 

After that combine the two. Do the trigger action while imagining your calm visual. After doing it a few times, the feeling the visual gives you will be associated with the trigger action. That means when you use the trigger, it gives you that sense of calm. 

What you should also consider are any negative patterns you might be tied to. Often when we have a negative experience, it ends up repeating itself. So if you’ve had a negative experience to do with selling, you might feel doomed to repeat it. However, you have the ability to break out of that pattern and create a new outcome. Visualizing a different outcome and the pattern changing can really help you break out of it. It’s called pattern interrupt in NLP.

[27:57 – 29:48] Wrapping Up!

Exploring human psychology gives us so much insight into our own behavior as well as the behavior of the people we interact with. Selling doesn’t have to be a guessing game because there is plenty of research showing us how people tend to act and how we can change their response. 

Try out a few of these sales secrets with the plug n play sales scripts I created for you. You might be surprised at how quickly you can change your conversion results. 

That’s all for now, friend. Sales is an important craft to master. But it takes time, so be patient with yourself. Replay this episode, download the scripts. Start to develop your sales skills. Watch how your messaging starts to stick and your offers become full of people that feel good about buying from you. Love you, chat soon!

Key Quotes

“If our audience can’t understand our value, they won’t be able to be impacted by it. And that’s just the honest truth. This is the secret sauce.”  – Liz Boer

“Just because you feel like there has been a negative downturn in the conversation doesn’t mean all is lost, you have the ability to change the nature of the conversation.”  – Liz Boer


Hi, I'm Liz.
Your New BFF + Marketing Coach.

I’m a marketing strategist, coach, and the ads manager behind multiple million-dollar launches. My goal is to empower entrepreneurs to create THRIVING online businesses. Stick with me, I'll teach you the marketing strategies that move the needle in building your online business, influence, and your brand. Along with sharing my best-kept secrets from being in the trenches behind million-dollar marketing campaigns. 

Whether you're ready to hire this #dreamteam, coming for an online workshop, or joining my course, or bingeing all the strategies via this blog or my podcast, I'm PUMPED you're here. I can't wait to watch you make magic happen! 

I’m a marketing strategist, coach, and the ads manager behind multiple million-dollar launches. My goal is to empower entrepreneurs to create THRIVING online businesses. Stick with me, I'll teach you the marketing strategies that move the needle in building your online business, influence, and your brand. Along with sharing my best-kept secrets from being in the trenches behind million-dollar marketing campaigns. 

Whether you're ready to hire this #dreamteam, coming for an online workshop, or joining my course, or bingeing all the strategies via this blog or my podcast, I'm PUMPED you're here. I can't wait to watch you make magic happen!